I recently unearthed a transcript of the following dialogue from the large pile that constantly occupies my desk.

Scene: 6:37 pm, 11/15/01. On a plane about to take off from Minneapolis and fly to Columbus, OH.

Hat enthusiast: Is this your hat? [displays hat he’s pulled out of the overhead compartment]

Guy on his way home from Hawaii nods.

Hat enthusiast: I’d suggest you carry it on your lap. It might get crushed if you keep it up there—I know from experience.

Guy on his way home from Hawaii: Well, it’s made it all the way from Hawaii okay.

Hat enthusiast: Well, once I get my gear up there, we’ll see if there’s any room for it.

Guy on his way home from Hawaii is speechless.

Hat enthusiast puts his gear up there.

[Completely true.]